[Lucy]

I was at the top of the world on NuTaino and may not have even realized it until it was too late. My little kingdom came crashing down when Probst said to head to the Arena again. The Arena can suck a hemorrhoid soured asshole. As we started picking numbers, multiple people expressed to me that they hoped we wouldn't be separated.

Adam... confirming my belief that he really did value me over the alliance he might have made on Day 1. Hannah came to me with advice to trust Drew and to survive and I was like , you sweet dear, I'm already ten steps ahead of you. Zeke, Gary, hell even Ryan... Every fucking person messaged me in despair. And then they messaged me like they just learned I had been diagnosed with stage 4 stomach cancer. I was the Mari. No, not the mary, like the mary and the rhoda, the Mari as in fucking my ex final two ally that got swap fucked and voted off.

I am on a tribe with basically all of the people I didn't want to meet. The punchline is that I get to be voted off with my new final two ally Drew. In the moments leading up to the reshuffled we submitted a final two agreement. Drew is now my numero uno. Hopefully this works out better than it did with Mari... but honestly I may be on the way to join her.

I'm on a tribe with vets and players who were Lucayan or refugees with the vets.

I am scared shitless.

I was Queen for a time. I am now at the bottom and I would happily work my way to the middle at this point. This is the first major obstacle I have been faced with and if I put in the effort I can hopefully change my fate.

[Lucy]

The game takes another turn. How are you feeling with your new tribemates? Has your strategy changed for this portion of the game?

I am on life support. I know all of my old tribe mates are like DEAD QUEEN WALKING. But I am plucky and I am not just going to mope around and willfully die. I'm going to be on my best behavior, kiss so much ass that my mouth will swell to the size of Angelina Jolie's, and show I am an asset in challenges. My plans to show I'm not a strong competitor by botching challenges will have to be put on the back burner. I can't afford to make any mistakes any more. I have to be on my P's and Q's.

Step 1: Befriend The Natives
Step 2: Exploit The Weaknesses
and if those are a fail
Step 3: Put A Hard Hat On And Hold The Fuck On.

I am feeling much better with my chances. Drew has ins with the vets. Dale has told me that he hates Brian pretty much. I could be a swing, but I don't want to get crazy with the hope yet. I am just going to be friendly and hope that shit works out. Every tribe mate gave me the tea on why Blake and Mari left. Blake was a nightmare. Mari was beloved, but weak in challenges and ALSO a former Taino. Brian told me to keep a secret. Mari was booted for her Taino association. QUE HORROR. YOU DON'T SAY!? Lol. Girl, the kids on the short bus are hip to this. You aren't telling me the secret of the meaning of life.

Do you feel like you have any control in your fate and who goes home? If not, how would you go about changing that?

I was in control, but now, nope. I am just happy to be sitting at the cool kids table. I will wait, patiently. I will build strong relationships and do whatever I can to get to a merge. If I get to the merge I will hopefully reclaim my crown.

I don't have the full picture yet on what this tribe is shaping out to be.

On one side I see Brian and Danni. On the other I see Dale and Joaquin... fed up with Brian and his transparent niceties. I see Drew and me, but I'm not stupid enough to think that he could be in legion with the vets, but I know he trusts me. I made a big gesture with sending Will out. I think he knows that I am game. I see Brooke splashing around like a Magikarp gasping for air as Brian walks over and slips her into his pocket. I see Caryn fingering herself. LOL JK. I forgot to lump Caryn in with the other vets.

I think I have bonded with all the vets tonight and I think they are ready to kick some of these Lucayan to the curb.

I may be in a more powerful position than I had once believed when we switched, but in NO WAY will I be the one in control beyond maybe one vote. As soon as I make a choice, I would just become a foot soldier again.

[Lucy]

First Impressions

Dale: I thought I was going to hate Dale. I had mentioned previously that his humor was very stale and I was wrong. He's just very sarcastic. He's like your fun relative that comes to the family get together that hates all the kids, but give them cigarettes to piss off there parents. He is also no nonsense. He confided in me that Brian annoys the ever loving fuck out of him. Brian comes off as fake and like he really believes he is on an island playing survivor. Hearing Dale bash Brian was like music to my ears, because I need to exploit these cracks.

Brian: Re-meeting Brian was... well, I felt really fake. I think Brian is a nice guy, but I played up how much I missed him. How sad I was not to join him as a refugee. Since we switched the first time Brian has been a hot ticket as far as Gossip is concerned. Gary bashes Brian and also said he believed he had a lot of control. Dale also seemed to give me that impression. I was sugary sweet almost to the point of nauseam with Brian. He really pissed me off though. Brian, without outright saying it, told me that because I am Taino I need to be on my best behavior and that he hopes that he can help me and if not we need to win challenges. In a round about way he told me- YOU IN DANGER GIRL. BUT HE HOPES FOR THE BEST. Oh thank you Brian. My lord and savior. Barf. It just came off as really condescending, but I thanked him none the less and played up being scared to see if he would give me more insight into my situation.

Brooke: Is probably choking somewhere after accidentally putting a condom over her head. The poor dear has no idea where she is. She is very sweet though. I didn't waste anytime talking to her tonight because 1. She has no power and 2. She cant get me anywhere. Brooke will just do what she's told by a former tribemate. She was Gary's pet, now she's probably Brian.

Danni: Our talk was stupid. I acted like a whore, she played up her whoreness. We didn't talk about anything of substance. The whole conversation was her talking about her nipples which... you're probably a 17 year old twink who wears uggs. You are not really Danni you future sex offender. I think Danni is also a puppet of Brian's.

Caryn: At first I thought Caryn was going to be in the same vain as Danni, but Caryn had more substance and she also made me laugh really hard. Caryn revealed to me that she has played in this series now 4 times. She has never made it into single digits. That is... just sad. A testament to bad game play? Caryn was vulnerable and said she didn't think people always get her over the top sense of humor. I'm a gay male and I too once had BFS. BFS is Basic Fag Syndome. Having BFS today means you can't have a conversation without quoting RuPaul's Drag Race and being a slave to material things. Caryn and I joked about sending our families to hell for a million dollars, but I don't think she was joking, she probably would. I think I would have to be bought out for more, maybe 10 million. Caryn discussed that she's in college, she's a Junior. Baby Gay. Adorable, yet tragic. I have been there. I see a lot of myself in Caryn at that age.

Joaquin: Chicago Native, so we have that bond. I lied and told him I live in Naperville, just to protect my real identity. I'm actually an hour outside of chicago and don't even live in Illinois, but he doesn't need to know that. I know Chicago like the back of my hairless hand. I felt like I made a good impression. Joaquin is the same age as Dale. 24. I'm a little older and feel weird about it, but i'll get over it.

Drew: Obviously not a new tribemate, but this switch has cemented our strategic relationship. I trust him enough for now, but he has a little ways to go to prove to me that he has my back. I gave him a lot of information, which might have been a mistake, but if you cant have one person as a sound board you will go nuts. It also makes him feel like he can get anything out of me, which makes him feel in control. I didn't tell him everything, but I told him enough. I told him about the final two with Mari, my bond with Hannah... the taino alliance chat ordeal. I left out that Adam is my favorite ex-Taino. I played down my relationship with Zeke.


So I guess it's time for a NEW POWER RANKING.

DAY 14 RANKING? DAY 15? WHO THE FUCK KNOWS. FIRST DAY OF NEW TRIBES RANKING

1. Drew
2. Dale
3. Joaquin
4. Caryn
5. Brian
6. Brooke
7. Danni

Drew as my main ally is at the top. I'm so glad we have come together. We have so little in common, i don't think anyone would suspect a thing. He's a vet. I'm taino. I'm American, He's Canadian. He is early 20's, I am early 30's. He is straight, I'm Gay. The list is endless.

Dale chatted me up and made me feel hopeful and seems to be a no bull shit kind of guy. Very direct. I feel like he may need to hold back a little in public. He told me he thought Jim was retarded and treated him as such as soon as things switched. Jim legitimately seemed surprised... I was surprised that he actually seemed not boring for .2 seconds. Jim the walnut everybody.

Joaquin and Caryn were both neck and neck. I felt Joaquin and I have a geographical bond that can be exploited. Caryn being voted out three times before the final nine is very suspect to me. It makes me think she's a horrible game player, incredibly unlucky, or... well, she basically makes me feel a lot of negative adjectives when it comes to her track history and I don't need her bad juju rubbing off on me. Loved chatting with her though, very funny.

Brian was actually someone I really liked, but he seemed so fake and insincere tonight and all the gossip surrounding him just seemed legitimized to me tonight.

Brooke and Danni are interchangeable. One of them is like a lobotomized prostitute (Danni) and the other is trying to read a map in a different language at all times (Brooke), she's confused.

[Lucy]

Humility.

I could come to this confessional and lie and said that I threw the competition like I had previously mentioned, but I really didn't. I got my ass served up, not once, but twice. The first question I seriously didn't even finish reading it. I was so nervous that I just copy/pasted it and the first thing I saw on Google is how I answered the question. I posted 'Caicos Islands'.... when that was part of the question. I made a complete ass out myself and I ate some serious fucking crow.

I owe Brooke the biggest apology. I went around saying she sucks ass at challenges and that we lost the challenge before it even began... but she did good. Even if she lost twice, she was right on the heels both times.

The second question I had the right answer, but I was smoked by Zeke.

I was a little resentful of my former Taino-mates. They acted like they would throw a challenge over losing me, but i got a big reality check. They don't give a fuck about me. So I need to just cast those past relationships from my mind and press forward.

Out of our five players... Danni failed once. Me and Brooke failed twice. Caryn was on her phone and wouldn't have been of any use. Brian smoked his question, the rest of us sucked... it kinda annoyed me that most of the vets kinda blew the challenge off. Our best tribemates were not represented. I feel like the vets don't care to go to tribal... BUT I digress... It's tribal time...

I need to get my head in the game.

[Lucy]

Tribal Council was strange...

It started off with silence. I could hear pins drop. I thought I was toast.

The only person talking to me was Brooke. Brooke wanted to target Drew and I never agreed to vote with her, but I still talked with her and agreed with her reasoning.

Much earlier in the day I had spoken to Joaquin and Dale about booting Brooke if we had lost. It seemed like the smart thing to do at the time. I am on shaky ground and Brooke is on looser ground, so why not push her off the cliff and hope that things become stable. I can tell the vets are in cahoots and me being so open with them is making me look like someone they could scoop up come the merge. In truth I like all of the vets. They are my favorite people to talk with. The only person from Taino that holds a candle to them would be Adam.

After what felt like an eternity players started messaging me telling me to vote Brooke.

One thing happened that really bothered me. It had to do with Brian.

I understand lying is a part of the game and god knows I am as deceitful as they come, but one thing I do have that separates me from a sociopath is remorse. I like Brooke. Brooke never did me wrong. Brooke showed up late, redeemed herself, but just didn't connect the right dots. It happens to the best of us. Brian told me she was targetting Drew, which duh, she already told me, but I played along... I told him how horrible I felt about voting Brooke and he seriously tells me to basically lie to her and make her think Drew is going...

Now you might be saying IDOLS LUCY, but give me a fucking break. Brooke couldn't even figure out how to use the chats at first there is no way in hell that she found an immunity idol.

Lying is necessary sometimes, I get it, but when someone is leaving and it's so obvious that they are fucked... why get there hopes up? It's tasteless and just rude. Brooke never did anything mean spirited to deserve me bullshitting her.

Instead of taking Brian's advice I told her that it's gonna be me or her... and that we need to prepare for it. Brooke responded saying everyone was being quiet and that she knew... and it just made me feel bad. But I feel good that I didn't pump her full of hope before she was snuffed out.

I felt really low when she left.

I am also glad that I tagged my name on her vote.

Because someone cast a rogue vote against Brian and at first I kind of felt like it was someone trying to pin it on me... but now I'm thinking Drew pre-voted against him.