[Lucy]

What can I say about my tribe? They all seem very lost, confused, and overwhelmed. I made a comment earlier that I kinda felt like I was Harriet Tubman in the underground railroad and I was leading these people across the board and explaining what was going on to most of them because they couldn't find there asses with both hands. THIS WAY TO THE LIGHT AND FREEDOM.

At first I was kind of playing it off like I was lost to the first few people I spoke too, but then I kind of switched gears and thought I could swoop up some allies if I sent links to the newer people to sign on to kind of guide them where to go (I did this particularly with Hannah and Mari and both seemed pretty grateful for my direction and help).

I was definitely trying to subtly direct people to agree to vote for someone who was inactive and had not shown up for the Refugee pick. At one point Zeke was trying to get people to vote for David... an alumni member that wasn't even on our tribe. Stupidity rubs off, because I looked at the cast list and saw the nine tribe members and KNEW that there wasn't a David on our tribe, but I still had to a double take. Fucking Zeke. I can just imagine the alumni groaning with embarrass as Adam, Will, and Zeke all cast refugee votes for non existent David. I get that David was a cast member on MvGX but it's not like there hasn't been other David's on the show before (Cagayan, Redemption Island, etc).

I got the sense that Zeke was whoring himself out to everyone like I was because whenever I discussed the vote with Adam and Will they both made a point to mention that 'Zeke wanted to do this'. It's clear Zeke is already putting his hooks in those guys and it makes me nervous.

Will was friendly, but didn't really have much to say, so I find him forgettable.

Adam said the word Gosh and I raised an eyebrow. Who the hell says Gosh? Adam was chatty, but was very outright with information. Anything Zeke told him, he told me. I have to watch what I tell him because those are tell tale signs of a gossip. Speaking as a homosexual, it's unfortunately a part of our genetic code to want to spill tea and share secrets. Adam mentioned having his gay license taken away for not watching RPDR so he is clearly a fag brethren. I will keep my strategic conversations with him brief.

I hate to be cliche, because my character is Lucy and I'm asian and Mari is also asian, but she was by far my favorite, but I got the sense that she was young and it made me feel weird. I am 30 years old. Mari made a comment about giving up on finding a summer job... So she's a teenager. But having said all that, the age gap wasn't an issue. I am a naturally chatty person and young people are the easiest to manipulate. Mari was very nice and kept the conversation going and I very much appreciated it. So Mari is kind of hovering at the top for me as term as an alliance is concerned, despite the obviousness of two asian characters teaming up. ALSO I CALLED IT PREGAME THAT MARI WOULD MENTION OUR ASIANNESS IN OUR FIRST CHAT and she so implied it. Her first message to me was 'im so glad there's a lucy rep this season'. Bitch, said no one ever... she was trying to say I'm glad another asian sister is here.

Who else did I talk to?

Hannah, briefly. She seemed like a fish out of water, totally out of her element. She reeks of newbie.

Going into the Refugee Ritual- the three potential targets were the three who had not shown up (Chris, Figgy, and Jessica). Four if you count imaginary David. No one was really making any arguments about how we should vote people in, everyone was kind of lackadaisical, so my suggestion of doing things randomly ended up being what turned Figgy into the refugee. I made a half-assed congratulation to her and also made sure to point out in the shout box that none of us were really responsible for her being selected, but given she's a worthless corpse, I doubt she will even notice.

The Guatemala tribe voted Jim due to him volunteering. He wasted no time spamming everyone the same generic message and then disappeared. Talking to Jim was like pulling teeth and given his mouth is probably a gumless maw that would be pretty redundant. I made a comment to Jim that we drew lots and that if Figgy doesn't show up that he holds all the power to which his geriatric ass said 'true that'. I hate him already.

Jessica popped up in the Shout Box after all of the festivities and as soon as she said Hello - everyone else said G2G. Way to kill the chat Jessica. With Figgy being a void of uselessness in Refugee world, that leaves Chris as the only person missing. He has first boot written all over him and I doubt I would have much resistance if I threw his name out there to be the first to go.

Everyone has vanished, so I guess I will too. Things are looking pretty good here on Day 1.

[Lucy]

Chris just private messaged me on the board and I walked him through how to use the chat feature.

The entire time I spoke with him I just got the sense that I had spoken with him before in another game. I made a comment about how I was watching an old MTV reality show called Fear and Chris new exactly what it was... he then made a point to mention that he had just rewatched an old Disney original show called So Weird... and I had major major major dejavu.

Whomever Chris is - we have to be around the same age. He then made a point to mention that his job was working in Health Care and it felt like he was setting me up to mention what my job is. I work for a medical answering service and that's a known fact among people I have played with in the past. I might be super paranoid, but it felt like he knew who I was.

Or maybe I'm just a crackhead and I need to stop watching MTV Fear.

Hashtag Paranoid.

I tried to talk to Hannah a little bit more and she doesn't have much to say. I made a point to regale her with a true story about my first online game. I was thirteen - I was in the majority alliance - did I mention I was thirteen? I keep mentioning that fact so you won't judge me when we get to the climax of this story. One of my allies won HoH and I volunteered myself as a pawn to spare them from making any enemies. Idiot. It gets worse... I go on to win the Golden Power of Veto. You can see where this is going to end. I didn't save myself, because I was young, stupid, and apparently trying to be a martyr and my ass was evicted 10 minutes after I chose not to save myself when in the past we had to wait up to 24 hours for voting results. I shared this story with Hannah to try and relate to her as a newbie and I got nothing in return. If anything all I did was convince her that I am an idiot. Her genius response was with this game I can reverse the curse.

I think I died a little inside.

[Lucy]

DAY 1 RANKING

I will try and do this every few days or as my strategic relationships change.

These rankings are give you insight into who I want to work with and who I want to live out the rest of their life as a vegetable.

I will only rank those of which I am on a tribe with- as no one else matters.

1 = WHO I LOVE/WANT TO WORK WITH . 7= HATE, DIE, COME DOWN WITH HERPES STAT.

1. Mari
2. Chris
3. Adam
4. Zeke
5. Hannah
6. Will
7. Jessica

Mari is obviously the person that I feel the closest too. Our conversations flowed like the even stream of a wide set vagina amidst it's period.

Despite the weird Dejadonethat feelings that Chris gave me, we have a lot of similar interests and seem to be around the same age.

Adam was definitely friendly, but was a little too forthcoming with information. I think he's a nice guy, but loose lipth thinks thips. Get it? Cause he's gay? Before some whiny alumni complains about me being insensitive I am totally pulling the incredibly convenient and moronic I AM GAY card. I actually wanted to rank Adam lower because anyone that would knowingly select Adam for their representative must be a total tool, but he was one of the three that stood out to me.

Zeke seems to be talking game with a lot of people. I am wary of him and see him as a threat. Adam and Will both made a point to sound like members of the Heaven's gate cult. Zeke said. Zeke thinks. Someone check their feets to see if they are wearing Nike's decade athletic shoes. If you don't understand that reference- educate yourself because this is some good shit. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heaven%27 ... ous_group). I think I won Zeke over by catching his Rigga Morris reference. I speak Alyssa Edwards fluently. So despite me being threatened by him, I think I have made a good impression on him.

Hannah seems out of her depth and scared, but that comes with the territory of being new. I don't think she is quite with the program yet, but I have faith that she will blossom into a beautiful flower, an ORG chrysanthemum perhaps. I think if anything she probably thinks I am a lunatic after randomly sharing my pathetic tale of woe about my place in my first online game...

Will is not memorable. The only reason I ranked him higher than last is because he had the wherewithal to message me on his own.

Jessica you are last because you were no where to be found when it mattered and when you finally arrived it was like everyone smelled dog shit and ran away. Seriously, Jessica shows up and everyone is off to bed.


I did not rank the two refugees because they are technically not on my tribe, even though they can speak to me. If they did the list would pretty much be exactly the same. Jim and Figgy would be right under Jessica in that order.

[Lucy]

Day Two is an off day... as will be Day Three. BECAUSE OF THIS, everyone is doing an Osama Bin Ladin level of hiding. Where did everyone go? Hopefully not a hole somewhere in the middle east.

There was some weak conversation in the Shout Box. Bullshit nicety and all that pointless excrement. I think that is probably the one thing I hate about ORGS is the effected and played out LOL :) HAHA crap. I made a point to post about a woman calling at my job about her child's prolapsed anus to try and break that mold and I think it might have been more effective than Jessica showing up in terms of making everyone vanish.

Mari and Zeke both messaged me when I wasn't around. So I missed out on some faux bonding. I should probably get over my need to see people's true nature and make an alliance with Mari. I just wish I knew if she was being social with other players. She is from the UK. Which can make things complicated. The time zone difference is eight hours. As much as I want to team up with Mari there is really no point if she's not social with all of the other chicken heads. I'll have to ask her what she thinks of everyone else and see if she gives me any indication of having any bonds outside of me.

[Lucy]

AMBER ALERT- FIGGY - SOMEONE FIND THIS WORTHLESS BITCH ASS HOE. LAST SEEN GIVING HAND JOBS IN FIJI TWO YEARS AGO.

The idea of Figgy being removed and all of the refugee power being left in the hands of Jim is a scary possibility. Jim has the social skills of an inbred millennial. He comes with maybe two automated responses, one of which is TRUE THAT. Jim volunteered to be a refugee, according to what he told me, so that just proves to me that he is a slacker. The idea of immunity is great, but if you don't have the chops socially being a refugee could be just a random shit show. Jim could have no rhyme or reason to his choices and it makes me wonder if I should have volunteered. If the refugee twist plays like it did in previous seasons it's like being in control of a immunity virus. You are the original carrier and you can spread the virus of immunity to whomever you want. It allows you to make ins with both tribes and earn brownie points with people for later in the game. I am cautious. I don't like to just jump in and volunteer for shit till I know how things work. Being reckless won't win you the game. I just have a gut feeling that there is more to this refugee twist and it's not going to be dejavu of how it worked before.

[Lucy]

So much shit happened tonight... and I have at least three confessionals worth of information. I'm not sure if I am going to type it out or make a video. I will let y'all know.

But I am now in a majority alliance and a final 2 alliance...

Tease on that nappy hair of information bitches!

[Lucy]

Day 4 was the equivalent of being on the edge of an orgasm and your partner just stopping and walking off to go buy Subway.

I am so frustrated with my tribe. I can already tell that the Taino tribe needs to drink some fucking Draino. Let me first start by saying that if I wasn't working I would have volunteered to be the puzzle person for our tribe, because I have experience, and I have been practicing all week. I was supposed to be off work tonight at 6PM, but one of the trollops at my work called in, so I had to sit back and get fisted by my tribes ineptitude.

We were all told to practice our puzzle making skills in the most blatantly obvious YOU NEED TO DO THIS FOR THE CHALLENGE kind of way that Terry Schiavo fucking resurrected from the grave and said 'yOoo GuYYTHHH GAUGHTTS tooo LRN DIZZZZZZZ 4 the CHALNG54555'. It's very evident that no one in my tribe took the puzzle warning very seriously and half assed by doing the puzzle maybe once. Either that or my tribe are descendants of Helen Keller. I'm leaning towards the latter.

I understand that most people don't want to volunteer to take a leadership type role in challenges because they are afraid of the ramifications of losing. A paranoid person assumes volunteering makes you an easy vote off, but a person with brains realizes that when no one else volunteers they cant place blame on the one person who volunteers without looking like the biggest douche in the free world. Everyone was him-hawing and trying to dance out of being the lead for this challenge. If the challenge was too make up an excuse and not do the challenge- we hit the ball out of the fucking park. HOME-RUN!

Hannah ended up stepping up and as soon as she did, I knew we were going to lose. She is brand new to online gaming. She even mentioned being kind of confused by the formatting. I will give her brownie points for being plucky and stepping up, but she was too green to take on such a big responsibility. I didn't even know what was going on half the time. Pre challenge I posted a very helpful formatting code so that everyone could copy/paste it and go to town. I don't know if no one looked at it, didn't care, or if everyone has the brain capacity of a manatee and couldn't make sense of it, but what I do know is it wasn't used. Hannah got the links and radio silence.... We have the shout-out box chat as a way to communicate. There was no fucking communication. Instead of posting the puzzle pieces as images to make it easy and give us a visual- she posted the links- and posted two links twice. By the time I saw she posted the links by randomly refreshing the work thread twelve minutes had already elapsed. I quickly posted all of the links as images to give everyone a visual and to save them the annoyance of having to click every URL to see it. Right after I do that, Hannah does... LOL. We could not have been more disorganized. I tried my best to prep this tribe with the formatting code and posting the links as pictures, but it was all for not.

I see Lydia solved the Lucayan tribes flag. It's all over. Zeke finished one minute after she did and sent Hannah the formatted/finished puzzle and she did eventually post it, but it was all for not. We lost.

Now I might seem mad, but trust me, my tone is very sarcastic and in jest. I hold no ill will to Hannah. Lord knows she tries and for a first timer she did pretty fucking good. Zeke impressed me as well, but he should have stepped up from jump street. We now lose. It's time for Tribal. Time to go grab my ass kissing chapstick. Time to apply it. Time to pucker up. Cause it's TC TIME!

[Lucy]

It took maybe 1 minute and 30 seconds for the word ALLIANCE to come flying out of Adam's mouth after it was announced that we lost. I have been speculating since night one that Adam is in cahoots with Will and Zeke due to there ingenious plot to target someone not in the game (SHOUT OUT TO NON EXISTENT DAVID!). All of my speculation was confirmed when Adam came to me suggesting that we form a five person alliance that consists of Adam, Zeke, Will, Myself, and Mari. I said yes as soon as he said Mari's name and played it off like this is my dream team, but I am immediately wary.

I message Mari, tell her about the five, she is down, and I quickly tell her that the only reason I am for it is because her name was involved in it. I tell her she's my main ally, my numero-uno, and we cement a final two agreement.

I quickly figured out how to make a group chat and I added all of the members and we had a caucus. Hannah did most of the leg work, we can't be douche bags and misdirect the blame on to her when we have two worthless inactive tribe mates named Chris and Jessica. Being that no one has spoken or seen Chris, but he appears to online all of the time, Adam makes it known that he wants him gone. I get the sense that Adam is a control freak. He is very outright and does not like to dilly daddle or beat around the bush. Instead of wasting ten minutes to discuss the value of Tweedle Dee (Chris) and Tweedle Dumbass (Jessica) Adam decrees that he wants it to be Chris and Will/Zeke basically perform fellatio on him in agreement. I do appreciate Adam's directness and not wanting to bullshit, but he clearly is the brains behind this circle jerk alliance.

Being in the majority is great, but if you're in the minority inside of that majority, you need to be sifting through the bullshit and coming up with a Plan-B.

Thank God for Mari being on the same page as me. I tell her about the five person alliance Adam has proposed and she is down, but she is just as suspicious as I am about the three boys being at the core and the two of us being the chattier more social tribe mates trailing at the rear end. I'm not going to be the weak tit on this mama-cat, no sir. I ask Mari what her relationship with Hannah is like and it's like being friends with someone for a long time and just giving them a glance and they can read your mind. Mari knew exactly what I was getting at. We need to make sure to keep Hannah under our wing. Mari made a point to say that she thought it was odd that Hannah was left out of this alliance plan (which makes me think Mari and Hannah might have something going on, but that's fine with me because I won't commit to an alliance without having a back up plan in my back pocket). I didn't ask Hannah for an alliance, but I made sure she was aware of the plan to vote off Chris. Hannah further fueled my theory she is working with Mari when out of nowhere she suggested all of the girls aligning. Girl Power. I'm all down for reuniting the Spice Girls and going on tour with Mari/Hannah despite the fact I am a thirty year old gay male.

So just to give you a Cliff Notes version of events for the underachieving alumni members...

1. Lucy is in a final two with Mari.
2. Adam, Lucy, Mari, Will, and Zeke created a five person alliance.
3. The five person alliance is targeting Chris over Jessica (for the stupidest reason ever- Jessica posted in the wrong Shout-Out box, but Chris hasn't posted in either...)
4. Lucy and Mari realize they are at the bottom of the alliance. Both have plans to team up with Hannah in the future.

[Lucy]

I immediately noticed that Brian's name turned black on the main page following the immunity challenge. I relay this information to my alliance and they apparently think I am cheating or practicing witchcraft because I was able to use conductive reasoning to determine Brian was the refugee boot.

I ended up being right. Brian messaged me and we had a pretty good conversation where I was originally planning to be guarded, but realized that maybe the refugee tribe is the ticket to my salvation. I feel like my tribe is sinking and I'm not sitting on the titanic when it sinks. I'm not the fucking violinists. No women and children first, Lucy first, everyone else can freeze and die.

Brian revealed to me that he was completely shocked that he was chosen as he didn't feel close to Jim at all. He told me that Figgy was removed from the game for being a lame ass inactive. He very much likes his old tribe, but they, like us, have two inactives that need to be pruned out in the form of Margaret and Brooke. I, cautiously, revealed that our tribe had two losers in the form of Chris and Jessica. When Brian pressed me to ask which one we planned on voting out I played dumb and implied that I hoped it was Chris/Jessica for the sake of the activeness in the game.

Brian is a teenager. Where the fuck do you find these tweens? Were you spamming people on Jake Paul's reddit?

Brian point blank asked me if I wanted to join the refugee tribe or if I was content on Taino. I told him the truth 'As long as I am in the game and not out of it- I'm ok with anything'. I think it would come off as phony as fuck if I tried to make a deal for him to bring me to the refugee tribe. I have nothing to offer him. So I am just going to be as chatty with possible and try my best to relate to him. When I asked him what his interests are all he could muster is that he just went white water rafting. So in your entire life you have only had one interest and you just discovered it a day ago? I wanted to ask him if he had just come out of a coma, but I don't think he would have got the joke. I will try my best to make Brian my new BFF.

Maybe the answer to the circle jerk alliance is just escaping to the Refugee tribe. I just realized that winning or losing- it doesn't matter. I will have to contend with being in the minority of the majority alliance much sooner than later. I can either try and get Adam/Will/Zeke sent there to minimize there control or I can get myself voted there and have Mari figured that shit out on her own.

What to do, what to do.

[Lucy]

DAY 4- PLAYER RANKINGS

1. Mari
2. Hannah
3. Zeke
4. Adam
5. Brian
6. Will
7. Chris
8. Jim
9. Jessica

I have decided to include the Refugee players in my ranking because they are in contact with me and control who from my tribe will join them in the highly unlikely scenario our tribe wins an immunity challenge.

Mari is my main ally, the funniest, and most fun to talk too so she is clearly 1 on the list.

Hannah actually impressed me that she stepped up when everyone else cowered with there tails between their legs. I also had a really good conversation with her after the challenge. I think she is starting to catch on to how the game works and she is coming out of her shell.

Zeke is also really friendly and seems to have great enthusiasm. He mentioned that he was so high strung and anxious doing the challenge. I also get fucking heart palpitations during live competitions. Win or Lose it's like I have been infected with rabies and crystal meth. It's heartbeat central when I do challenges. It was a very relatable moment. Well, it was, until he started comparing how he felt to Eminem's Lose Yourself. I'm not even joking, he fucking sang the first few lines from the song. I think he has a severe case of White Boy Syndrome.

Adam is very social and he has made me feel included, but he makes these statements that are unfounded and just idiotic. Exhibit A: Targeting David, the non existent tribe mate. Exhibit B: Trying to target Figgy when she was a refugee at the time he said it. (We weren't aware she was removed). He said that Figgy makes him uneasy and that she seems untrustworthy when he's never spoken to her and no one else has either. I'm sorry Adam, but who died and made you Criss Angel.

Brian is a refugee from the other tribe and has said more words to me then 40% of my own fucking tribe. He may be young and have limited interests, but he was friendly and seems like someone I could potentially manipulate in the future.

Will is just Adam and Zeke's subordinate. All I know about him is that he is gay and he goes to Pride. We can only hope he is abducted by some 50 year old bear with titty clamps.

Chris is number 7 after only having that one fun conversation with me on night 1 and now it looks like he won't be having a very Merry CHRIStmas this year. SEE WHAT I DID THERE?

Jim has said a few more syllables to me than Jessica, so he gets to be one step ahead of her. Jessica has still never responded to my private message introducing myself while also trying to walk her through how to sign in to chat. I think she should be leaving, but Chris isn't important enough for me to cause any kind of waves.