Dear Dave, I wrote you but still ain't callin'
I left my coconut phone, tree mail, and my shoutbox at the bottom
I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not-a got 'em
There probably was a problem at the arena or somethin'
Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em
But anyways, fuck it, what's been up? Man how's your doggy?
I've adopted too, I'm bout to be a father
WHen I have a dog too, guess what I'm a call him?
I'm a name him Brian
I read about your Uncle Paul too I'm sorry
I had a friend kill himself over some bitch who didn't want him
I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan
I even got the underground shit that you did with Cranston
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man
I like the shit you did with Peter Griffin too, that shit was fat
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back
Just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan
This is Gary
Me looking longingly into David's eyes 