[Lucy]

My tribe sucks. End confessional.

[Jeff Probst]

Sorry this is overdue:

We’re getting down the nitty gritty of the game now that most of the inactive have been eliminated or replaced, what is your standing within your tribe?

What do you make of the growing refuge tribe and would you prefer to end up there or stay on your tribe and be vulnerable?

Who is your closest friendship in the game? Who are you gelling with the LEAST?

[Lucy]

Overdue? Lol. You have a whole Encyclopedia Britannica of confessionals from me ;).

My standing in the tribe is pretty good. I think I am in good social standing with the majority of my tribe. The only tribe mate that I have never spoken too is David- who will be leaving shortly and Will, who apparently must have lost his fingers in a machinery accident because the bitch never types responses back. I think Will comes with maybe one automated phrase. 'I hope it doesn't rain at Pride'. I think I am in great with the girls. I am having a very long and fun conversation with Adam so I think I am winning him over quiet nicely. Zeke always chats with me, but I think he is a lost cause. He seems really loyal to his brethren. If I can pull any of the guys over I feel like it would be Adam. I would say that I am safe for the next two tribal councils. After that It's uncertain. I feel confident that I will survive the Taino tribe. I don't care if that sounds cocky. I feel like I have put a lot of stock into the game socially and that will hopefully pay off for me. I have hope damnit. I'm not sure why to be honest this tribe is going to hell in a hand basket.

The growing refugee tribe looks greater and greater, but since our tribe cant seem to get to a refugee ritual, it looks like it's just out of my grasps. I jokingly refer to the refugee tribe as Lucayan The Sequel. If our tribe can get to a ritual ceremony I will do anything short of giving handjobs or murdering someone to get selected.

My closest friend in the game is with Mari, but Adam is definitely moving up the ranks. We have been having a really great chat tonight about our shared geek obsession for the Alien movie franchise. The tribe mate I know the least is Will. Although David has never spoken to me, he has made his presence known and he is a fucking bald lunatic. I will give you a more detailed confessional about him later.

[Lucy]

Our third challenge as a tribe. Disaster. I hold some responsibility in our tribes embarrassing showing in the competition, but please, hear me out. After we finally won a challenge, my delusional ass gained hope. I thought our tribe could pull itself together and that everything would be A-OK. When I saw the challenge was a basic unscramble, I had hope that anyone with a chunk of a brain could figure it out. David was being primed to leave if we lost and he actually showed up for the immunity challenge. He was initially going to be sat out, but me, so drunk on stupidity, believed my tribe could do this unscramble without a hiccup. In my mind I'm thinking David's life is on the line, he needs to fight for himself, and second if we win he can't sit out the next challenge and we can't depend on him to show up since he already no-showed to the last competition.

So once again I take a break from the group chat, go on a little vacation while they do a kindergarten level challenge. I wouldn't even call it a challenge, I would call it COMPREHENSION. This is shit my six year old niece does for fun in the daily newspaper.

10 out of 13. THAT IS THE SCORE MY TRIBE GETS. 10/13. L.M.A.O.

Lesson learned. I can't sit out any more challenges. The one challenge I was a 'leader' in we won... when I'm not in the equation our tribe doesn't work well. Actually, that's kind of conceited. I can't say that I am the only person that is capable. I do feel like I could have aced the scramble though.

David, who was next to leave anyway just because he was late to the party, acted a god damn fool and was like a drunken pirate sashaying about the challenge with paranoia and worthlessness. He managed to annoy every single member of our tribe to the point that the 1% chance he had at staying turning into a -1,000,000% chance of him staying. I don't know if he thought he needed to be a method actor and be neurotic just like David, but... he is the stuff of nightmares.

[Lucy]

I had a very great conversation on the eve of Tribal Council and it was Adam. Adam was probably the last person I was expecting to bond with that night honestly. I thought I would be mindless and say the usual dredge I say when I am trying to look more sociable then I actually am by spitting out words of hope that are utterly meaningless. BUT NO, Adam and I actually really bonded and you are going to laugh and raise an eye brow when I tell you what it was over.

Alien and Aliens.

Yes, I'm talking about the epic sci-fi horror drama of the Alien Trilogy. It turned into Nerd-Alert 2018 as we started talking Alien as if we were two loser trekkie fans about to jerk each other off. It was beautiful. I went from thinking Adam was just all game and no personality, to actually cracking him open and learning new stuff about him. Geek speak opened the doors for us to be friends. A showmance was born. LOL Joking, but still it made me see Adam in a new light.

Everything else has been business as usual. Mari and I just shoot the shit and make fun of everyone. She is definitely like the right tit on my inner mean girl.

Hannah was spitting venom at David. Hannah apparently wanted to murder him during the challenge and she had to stop herself from going full New York on his ass. I would have loved to see it, but no, Hannah played it cool and smart and didn't say anything. Yawn.

Zeke hasn't said anything of any value lately. He only talks to me about basic shit like strategy and pre-challenge ass kissing. Things on the Taino tribe are kind of repetitive at this point. Things will pick up after this tribal council. I will be put in a really interesting position. Do I stick with the majority alliance or try and force a tie with the girls... As much as the feminist in me would love for the Spice Girls to take over, it's probably a risk not worth taking. Mari would really have to sell me on it. I'm starting to think that Will is losing traction with the guys because he is nowhere to be found most the time that it's possible that the boys club may not be as strong as I thought they were. Plus I think I made some ground with Adam that he probably feels closer to me than Will.

Who knows?

Can we just get David out and move on?

[Lucy]

Tribal Council.

The best kind of trash fire.

It's no secret to everyone, but apparently David, that David is leaving. The very minor amount of time that David has been around has been rife with stress and crazy. David is not rubbing this tribe the right way. You would think Tribal would just be another predictable boring step further in this game, but apparently David REALLY thought he was staying.

In the middle of our tribal council discussion David made a point to say that he hopes that he will be given a chance and that he won't be voted off for being new... David cant say he wasn't given a fair shake. He got to compete for his life, he didn't socialize with over half the tribe, and he made the mistake of trying to target quite possibly the most popular member of our tribe besides me- Adam.

The amount of rookie mistakes that David made are insurmountable. Raymond Babbit from fucking Rain Man knows David is leaving.

The vote reading... SAVAGE. Every single vote just got more cringe and more hilarious with the savage comments explaining why David is leaving. 5-1.

David is gone, but he's not leaving. David immediately goes to the shout box and starts with the HOW COULD YOUS! HOW COULD YOU ZEKE AND MARI!?!?! He has the actin chops of a D-List Celebrity in a future Sharknado sequel. It's just so fake and so pathetic, but I am eating it up with a spoon. I'm also relishing the fact that he never spoke to me and he's not hurting my credibility. Mari and Zeke both proved to me that they cant keep calm under pressure because neither could leave it go. They had to engage David. Mari kind of showed me that she's a little less collected than I thought she was, Zeke on the other hand is so passionate that it doesn't surprise me.

I was embarrassed to be a member of the Taino tribe while it was happening. I made a point to randomly post a URL to the most Kumbaya My Lord fucking song from the 80's 'SHINY HAPPY PEOPLE' by REM.

David, thank you for being an amusing shit show and I hope that you find a great program to help with your obvious crack addiction.