By Zeke
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#4212
As you can probably see by the title of this thread. These are my final thoughts about this game. And I would really love to talk a little bit about my game and everything that has happened.

From the moment I first saw the ad for this series. I was very intrigued and I wanted to be a part of this experience. I remember that it was for Sri Lanka that I heard about this series. After checking out how this whole thing worked out. I really wanted to join this game, I was absolutely excited to fill out my application just so that I could have this chance to play in my last ORG ever. Not to mention that this whole game was my second time ever doing Live Games because usually I prefer to do Semi-Live and Non Lives as with Live Rounds due to my timezone and things like that would not make me be able to do well in them.

When I got the answer to my application, I felt very happy to know that I was considered for this game. I felt absolutely happy to know that I have made it and that I can really just prove myself just like on the real show. Even when I saw the news that I got officially casted, it was a feeling that I have never felt before.

Then when I saw this game and how it was structured. It absolutely was something that I didn’t see at all and how it felt different from anything that I absolutely did. The challenges, the twists, hell, even the Tribal Councils, it was all absolutely amazing and I really felt happy that I got to witness this whole series for myself.

I also really loved interacting with the people here, the functions of the Messaging system. It was really awesome and the way it worked even. It was absolutely fantastic and every little thing that has been in this game has been something that I will definitely look back on and smile.

Truthfully, I had no idea that I would have made it this far and that I even came to the Final 3. I know that I have made my strides here and that no matter what happens in this game. I can say that I have worked my ass off to get here and nothing could have stopped me. As the days went by in this game and I saw myself go further and further, I was throught the roof happy. I felt like I was finally something right. That the stars have finally aligned and that my moment has come to show what I have been working for over 6 years of my entire ORG career. And when I saw that I made the Final 3, I was happy as ever and I was ready to take this as hard as I can. And I didn’t allowed anyone to tear me down.

Even with this Final Tribal Council where I was being ripped apart and literally spat on for trying to go my own way, I knew that I had to keep my head up but with the many attacks that were thrown at me, coupled with the fact that during one of the questions, outside of this, I got a phone call from someone who I thought would be the one and the one who would truly love me and be faithful to me, It just all felt like I was fighting a battle that I wasn’t gonna win. But I didn’t give up because I didn’t wanted to be considered a quitter. And if there’s one thing that I want to be remembered by is that no matter what happened. I didn’t cave in, I didn’t let people stomp all over me and I stood there and stood my ground while many stomped on me like a door mat. I would never want to be associated as a quitter and I will never want to be called one because I am not that.

I know that my gameplay wasn’t perfect. I even stated back a few rounds that my gameplay wasn’t good and I wasn’t gonna delude myself about it, because it wasn’t my job to say that I was great, it was the jurors requirement to say what they have on their mind. I did know that I had flaws and I did know that I’ve managed to absolutely do things that should have not happened. And I take the blame for it. I would rather accept my flaws and realize that I’ve fucked up than to be delusional and say I had a flawless game and just consider myself the best player. I’d rather take all of the attacks that I’ve been given than to be delusional about everything and just see myself as perfect.

Usually I don’t cry about games like these because I know for a fact that it’s all just meant for fun and games and I absolutely don’t hold any grudges against anyone whenever I play with them and whatever shit that they just say in the impulse of a moment. But another thing that honestly broke me down alongside the personal news.

I just honestly feel disappointed in myself. I also feel like I disappointed the Hosts who have organized this and casted me for this, I always want to come off as best as I can here and I don’t want to be perceived as an idiot and someone who doesn’t care that I got casted but for some reason, I feel like I disappointed everyone with what I did here and this was not my intent at all. I really did genuinely care about this game and I just really wanted to do my best here and not go out in a bland way here. I really was passionate about this and I really didn’t wanted to come off the way that I did and I do take what happens in this game seriously because that’s how I am invested in these games that I would do anything to just have my moment. All I wanted to do was to feel that I was a winner and that I did good here. But I just felt like I was only disappointing people around. And I never, ever, EVER wanted for people to say that I was a disappointment to them.
Whether you are gonna bring me back for the next All Stars/Second Chance or any other opportunity. I will be absolutely happy to accept another chance because I really don’t want this to be my last time in this series. I don’t want this to be the last time for me.

I just want for people to know that despite many of my fuck ups that I was a player and maybe if I was the worst one. I don’t want to be hated for what I did and I just want to end this game on a high note than a low one. To anyone who I have hurt, I would like to absolutely apologize and say that I didn’t mean to do anything.

All in all, I just wanted to say:
- Thank you for giving me a chance to experience this whole thing.
- Thank you for allowing me to play in this.
- I’m sorry if I disappointed anybody or anyone in this whole process.
- I’m sorry to those that I have hurt and that I have made them felt bad.

And overall, thank you for making this one of the most unforgettable experiences of my entire life. I really am grateful for being casted here.
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Zeke

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