[Lucy]

On the day before the game began I set a list of goals for myself and made a prediction of how well I would do in the game.

My first goal was to make the merge.
My second goal was to make the jury.
My third goal was to win at least one challenge.

I predicted I would get to top 6 or 7.

I hit all of those goals. The jury is still out on whether or not I will make the top six or seven, but I am going to put a new list of goals on the table.

I want to make the top four.

I will readjust my expectations again if I get to that goal.

I am in the top 13. I had the craziest fucking night in the game. It's been a whirlwind. It was both scary and exhilarating. I was angry, yet curious...

But all that aside. I am here. I made it to the merge. It's time to kick things off. I really REALLY need to be careful. I need to make sure I make the right choice.

I need to be smart. I hope I can make this happen. I have put blood sweat and tears into getting this far. I have shown up for every single event. I have kept an insanely detailed confessional. I have been social with every single player. I am working my ass off. Harder than most.

[Lucy]

But before all of my goals met... Let's rewind to the moments following Probst asking us all to stick around.

I had a feeling in my gut all day that a member of Taino would either be idoled out of the game or somehow manage to get themselves canned. I have been skeptical of Gary since the beginning. I now know the truth about Ryan and how he has painted himself out to be the poor little victim of the Vets. I assumed I would be seeing Adam sashay out into the land of the loser, but QUELLE SURPRISE, Woody Allen herself, I mean, Hannah herself was booted from the game.

Hannah leaving sucks for a few reasons.

1. She was totally going to get a signed I LOVE LUCY T-Shirt. I believe she was a part of the Lucy fan club and that she had my back and wanted to go lhe distance with me.

2. She was not a threat, sure she had some issues with not keeping her game thoughts contained, but it happens to the best of us.

3. There are now only three Tainos. There are six vets. There are four Lucayan. I am the only Taino female. 'FEMALE'.

4. A Bigger Threat didn't leave.

Poor Hannah. I think she did very well for her first game. She made me super proud and I'm not her mama or a host. I also hate that she just missed out on the jury and the merge and NO not only because she would have voted for me to win.

As we step over Hannah's corpse and move on I see a new post and the words MERGE glowing electric...

Everyone begins to shout and rejoice. The Heavens Part. Anna Nicole Smith, Joan Crawford, and Whitney Houston descend upon us and play harps as Jesus throws us a thumbs up... only for the acid to wear off.

It's not the merge we are expecting. There are 14 of us. We are all on mute. We can't chat in private. The Shoutboxes are shut down. It's starting to feel like a Lesbo Prison lock down.

If you want to stay you need to basically play the game out in the open in front of everyone. You cant hide in the shadows. It's an anxiety attack brought to life. First, if you choose to throw a name out in front of the other players you basically put yourself in a 50/50 chance of leaving. It's either going to be you or the one you target. I knew right away that no one in this group would have the cajones to do that. For the first time in my ORG History I am walking into a blind vote. There is no way to cheat. You can't send smoke signals without other people noticing. The only sign language I know is the finger and right now I want to make Probst sit and spin on it. Unfortunately their is no time to dawdle. We have a chance to save ourselves with an impromptu immunity challenge.

It is revealed to us that are 90 passwords in front of us and a password protected forum taking us directly to the merge and four individual immunity necklaces. The four players to break in and claim them are safe. All of the players that fail are in danger for one of the most fucked up tribal council scenarios to date, but we will get there... it's challenge time.

I immediately start trying to memorize as many words as possibles and type them in, with the upper case letters. I am frantic and my palms are sweaty. I do not do well under pressure. The more names I try, the more pissed off against, the more mistakes I believe I'm making. I'm typing so crazy it looks like my shoulders are jutted out and rotating the way white people look when they try and twerk from the waist up.

I tried a good forty names before finally getting inside. I can't even remember what word clinched it. All I know is that I see nine replies to this merge thread and my heart sinks, but none the less I quickly slap the letter F into the quick reply box and send. F is for FUCKED, because as I scroll down I see Jim is number five and I am number six. I got beat by the guy who has to wipe his ball-sack because that weathered thing he calls his testes bounces around his shit filled Depends like a yo-yo.

On the plus side I see my new bosom buddy Caryn owned this shit and grabbed a necklace. My favorite douchebag Dad also took the time to pull his dick out of his daughter to win safety. Zeke won... yay? I had no reaction to be honest. I kind of felt like if Taino was going to be targetted it now falls on me or Adam, but I still felt confident that Adam would get votes before I would. Gary, the lying co-conspirator, has also won immunity which made me sad because I would have loved to write his name down...

In Danger Currently are

ADAM LYDIA BRIAN DANNI CHRISSY JOAQUIN RYAN LUCY JIM DREW.

My odds of leaving are 1 in 10.

Little did I know that that number was going to increase...

[Lucy]

I called it that the vote would tie. Not that that makes me a fucking medium or anything, but I knew it was going to tie. I was surprised that it only tied between two people. I thought the margins would have been a little more varied.

I struggled really hard with this vote.

My brain was telling me that I needed to cast a vote against someone in offensive that has no power so that in the event that they stay I won't have to worry about retribution. I was also thinking about how Brian was going to be voted off had we lost immunity and that there was a good chance that a lot of the vets that I have been with would try and throw some votes at him out of sheer disdain. I tried to predict how my former Taino's would vote. I thought they would likely throw there votes at the vets. I also thought Ryan might have a lot of people writing his name down after what happened in Refugee world. I even considered casting my vote using a random.org generator.

In the end I decided to cast my vote for Jim. I know that he is powerless and is just a grunt. I don't think I have to worry about Jim masterminding my demise over this one measly vote. I didn't think there was even a remote possibility that I would be voted off until I thought about the fact that I have never met Chrissy and Lydia, both ladies could easily use the excuse of never meeting me as a reason to write my name down. What if Jim also does? Fuck. The unknown makes you crazy. The suspense of waiting also made it feel like I had been sitting in a rubber room for an eternity. I had to piss so fucking bad, but there I sat, hitting refresh instead, waiting for the sweet release of Tribal Council.

This was a unique experience because so many votes came flying out of so many different directions that I wouldn't even know where to begin in terms of trying to guess who voted who. I will try though.

1st Vote- Lydia
[Zeke ? I can't even wrap my head around this one.]

2nd Vote- Drew
[Obviously cast by Brian. Brian, the mastermind, our lord and savior with his smugness trying to be sassy and failing. I KNEW IT WAS AN ACT DREW. I KNEW YOU WERE A SNEAKY SURFER WITH NUT MUSK! You do not belong in the cult, be gone!]

3rd Vote- Zeke
[Danni. She is a sassy bitch so this could easily be her. 100 DOLLARS IS WORTH MORE THAN YOU. OH BURN. SNAPS. But why did this vote come up as DO NOT COUNT? Was an idol played and I didn't see it? Can someone verify this for me. Thanks in advance. Or I could just remember Zeke was immune and pretend that I knew that the whole time? ]

4th Vote- Brian
[Drew. Drew and Brian obviously were after each other so it only makes sense]

5th Vote- Joaquin
[Jim? Possibly Gary? He said they seemed slick and that nobody dislikes them... I'm not sure, but maybe Jim had the same idea I did]

6th Vote- Ryan
[Chrissy. Ryan tried to fuck her over on the Vet tribe so she possibly was seeking retribution?]

7th Vote- Jim
[Lucy. Yes I voted for the incontinent fuck! I actually saw a more interesting side of him tonight. Jim really showed some personality.]

8th Vote- Adam
[Caryn. Caryn has never met or spoken to Adam before so it makes the most sense]

9th Vote- Joaquin
I am going to say Gary. Gary has not had much contact with Joaquin and it also ties into me thinking Jim is his bitch. Even though there was no way for them to tell each other how they were voting... I still say Gary.

10th Vote- Jim
[Adam? Maybe he was on the same wave length as me since we are so similar.]

11th Vote- Ryan
[Joaquin? K I am starting to think I have way fucked up on my guesses so far. I feel like I'm writing a fucking fan fiction]

12th Vote- Adam
[Dale. 100%. I know he had no relationship with Adam and he thinks Adam was the Taino figurehead.]

2 Votes Left and I don't think I have assigned anything for Ryan or Lydia?

13th Vote- Ryan
[K so by my default and probably completely horseshit and incorrect logic- Lydia used the random generator and voted Ryan]

14th- Adam
[This leaves Ryan as a vote cast against Adam. I'm not sure if this is true either, but Ryan has shown he is a traitor and wishy washy so maybe he is possible]


Tie vote.

3 Adam. 3 Ryan.

OK TIME TO REVOTE.

There is no way this shit ties again.

[Lucy]

I typed in Adam.

I wrote 'Adam you are a great guy and I love that we have so much in common but I don't think the votes are there to save you. This vote hurts so...' before deleting it all and changing to a boring basic vote about Ryan. I don't even remember what I said. As much as voting off Adam was probably the right decision for my game for a lot reasons. I cut ties with someone I like and don't have to worry about them being on the jury. (I didn't know at that point that whomever left would be jury, so in my head, I figured I could wrong Adam without any kind of retribution). I changed my mind mostly out of guilt. Adam has never done me wrong. I doubted him over the Taino Alliance chat thing and it was never even a legitimate thing. Ryan on the other hand is squirelly and has nothing to offer me. Voting Adam would have shown my new vet friends that I am down with the program, but since Ryan isn't there BFF's I can always use the excuse that Ryan was a known traitor, remember Refugee Land where he voted Chrissy? Lol WATCH, I say that and it's a story that isn't even true. Woops.

I am resigned to Adam leaving. Especially when he's being bombarded with all of this bullshit by Drew and Dale. I wanted to shake them and tell them to shut the fuck up. Drew and Dale are tag-teaming Adam asking why his screen name shows a logo from another season. Adam denies it and instead of giving him the benefit of the doubt they both kind of accuse and say he's not telling the truth because Probst is nowhere to be found.

I immediately run to Probst and tell him to please clear Adam's name. Mostly because I would be furious if I got voted off over something so innocuous that is obviously a mistake. Brian actually was able to disprove the gossip. There was an Adam in Faroe Island and his account was reused and reshashed. Case Closed.

Again the votes are locked in and it's time for me to say Goodbye to Adam.

Ryan gets hit by my vote, but Adam has six votes already revealed against him 70% of the way through tribal. I quickly snap my way through to get to the inevitable ADAM YOU ARE OUT post, but you won't believe this fucking shit... THE VOTE TIED. HOW!?!?!? I DON'T FUCKING UNDERSTAND HOW?

12 Votes

My Predictions...

Ryan would be getting votes from Me, Zeke, Chrissy, Joaquin, Danni, and Brian

Adam got votes from Caryn, Dale, Drew, Gary, Lydia, and Jim


I'm not sure how accurate that is, but I think I have two votes wrong at most.

[Lucy]

I went from getting zero votes to wishing tied members Adam and Ryan good luck due to there impending funeral... to them now being immune due to another accidental tie.

I have a 1 and 8 chance of going home by picking a numbered stone. I couldn't be hating myself more right now.

Brian starts grumbling about how unfair this is and how luck shouldn't be playing a big factor in the game and some of his cult members are kind of echoing that sediment. Luck? No, it wasn't luck by the hosts hands, it became a game of luck because instead of going in for the kill and lobbying to vote someone out publicly everyone cut there balls off and took refuge inside there now empty sack. Don't ask how that works physically bitch, it's a metaphor. Get into it.

I feel like this is the end. I got purple rocked out once and it was the most infuriating situation ever. I never even considered that the vote could or would tie. I was too busy shivering like a little chihuahua to start making diagrams and shit of how people were voting. I WAS TRAUMATIZED OK JEFF! I thought Adam had at best myself and Zeke. Especially after the Hannah blindside. 10-2. To the four people that threw votes at Ryan... you will get my dry cleaning bill. Lord knows I pissed my pants more than once through out this night.

The number I chose that ended my game the last time I drew rocks was the number 2.

So I chose 2 this time again. Why?
A. Because I am a glutton for punishment.
B. I am ready 2 be snuffed. AHA! GET IT. 2 BE SNUFFED. I love me a good pun
C. I figured that the mathematical odds of me being purple rocked by the same number must be astronomical.


Everyone chose numbers except for Chrissy who didn't want to take fate into her own hands because she's, well, a pussy quite frankly. It's like take some accountability in your life and pick a god damn number. Joaquin couldn't count to eight apparently and kept picking numbers that were already chosen, which made me hate Chrissy even more. Put us out of our misery you cow. Joaquin finely chose 3. Hooray for Children's Math Flash Cards!

Probst has to draw this out too, so he announces he is going to reveal the rocks one at a time. All I can think to say at this point is... Hold Me Closer Tiny Dancer.

The world stopped and my heart skipped a beat when I see Probst posts a picture of a yellow colored rock with a number 2 on it. Nothing registers at first. This is my rock being chosen, I'm out, it's the end.

It's 11 O Clock at night and in my quiet house where one roomie lays in bed across the hall and the other watches reruns of Big Brother down stairs... you could hear crickets chirping... until a crazy lunatic homosexual letting out a blood curdling FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK, GOD FUCKING DAMN IT. ARE U FUCKING SERIOUS? MOTHERFUCK. DAMN IT MAN, A FUCKING GAIN, A FUCKING GAIN, YOU'VE GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME. My voice level drops decibel after decibel as I have this losing diatribe with myself. I was just about to use a cheese grater to grate through my wrists when I notice people are congratulating me. This is where I reveal I'm color blind and make myself look less like an idiot. Alas, I'm not.

IT'S YELLOW YOU MORON. IT'S FUCKING YELLOW. YELLOW IS GOOD. PURPLE IS BAD.

I need to be committed after tonight. Tonight was too much. It's time for me to take some happy drugs. Someone please wheel me back into the padded cell.

My chest continues to protrude and subside when Joaquin and Chrissy are revealed to have yellow stones too...

Drew is still in the mix....The irony of losing another final two ally would be too much for me to take in my fragile condition. I pray his name is cleared next, but the human ball sack Jim is instead.

Danni and her chesticles quickly follow suit.

BRIAN, DREW, and LYDIA remain.

I am secretly hoping it's Lydia who is about to be smashed by the Grimace colored rock. I mean, her son was smashed like the pancake dance she always does in a car accident, it might be best that she follows him into the light. Brian staying keeps him a target of Drew. Brian and Drew can continue feuding and I will sit back and watch them scratch each others eyes out like two limp wristed Ke$ha fans fighting over the last Newport.

Drew gets a yellow stone... followed by Lydia... followed by Brian having a delicious diva meltdown.

Brian has selected the Purple Stone. Brian gets somewhere between Diva and Ghetto fabulous. Brian is upset that this game has basically been compromised and that he has been punished for a twist that was essentially luck based and he's going to throw t'huch a hissy fit. Brian is leaving the board till he can come to turns with this horrible slight. Brian, the winner of Stranded Turks and Caicos, taken in his prime. In Brian's delusional world he was running the show. Brian was in the majority alliance. Brian had a cult of loyal followers who were going to willfully get him to the end and surrender the game unto him. Brian Christ.

I can't wait for someone to give him a reality check. I think he needs to know the truth that his goose was already cooked and instead of getting served up when Hannah left, he continued to get burnt to a crisp, just in time for the Purple Rock of Doom to bring him right where he belongs. The Jury House. Brian is the first member of the Jury.

All joking aside at least he gets to be a Jury member... it's the best consolation prize and really the one you can ask for. I'm curious to see if he can set his pride aside and come back to crown a winner. I hope so.

[Lucy]

I was so tired last night that I don't even remember writing these.