[Lucy]

Episode 0.

I predicted I would finish in seventh place.

I can't help but feel like I some how and walking into this projected fate. No one is talking to me following Caryn's demise. Well, no one with a fake vagina.

It's awkward to say the least. I vanished following Caryn's elimination, but left my messenger on to show available. I came back 2 hours later to the sound of my own voice echoing back at me.

Adam and Zeke both congratulate us on a job well down, while Drew gets the brunt of the girls anger and then they followed that up by trying to make a final four alliance of the girls + Drew.

Poor Adam and Zeke. No matter what they do, those girls will not give them the time of day. It's almost revolting. I feel like Adam and Zeke are treated like they are beneath the girls. Chrissy and Danni in particular.

Since I know Danni and Chrissy are pissed that they were left out and they ran to Drew without hesitation- it just shows me that I was right. I was never going to get to the top five with those girls. Before Tribal Council I lied to Danni and told her I was avoiding the boys to prevent myself from lying to them... she responded with how Savage I was.

I wonder how savage she thinks I am now? I would venture to guess she's thinking of another word that rhymes with Lunt.

According to Adam - Chrissy said that she would have voted off Caryn and doesn't understand why she was left out... Oh sure. You had Adam's back completely. That's why you didn't mention the fact you were in the Pussy Power alliance. How convenient.

I felt like I could at least speak to Lydia and she would be a good sport and I was right. Lydia even revealed to me that she wanted to blindside Caryn at this next tribal council and was already thinking of ways to tell me. Lydia is the only girl I think I can trust going forward... Lydia said she was shocked and that she thought Caryn and I were unbreakable. Ha. I told Lydia I felt the same way about her and Danni. I made a point to tell Lydia that she has no shot of beating Danni... to set up my next scheme. Lydia revealed at the same moment I told her that information- that she likes Danni, but is aware she is unbeatable. Lydia has some self awareness. I am banking on it.

I had Adam go to Lydia and suggest a final three deal of Lydia/Adam/Zeke. I figured it would be smart because Lydia would do the math in her head and see the dollar signs in her eyes.

I don't trust Drew not to try and turn this vote on to one of the boys.

I am going to push the vote for Danni or Chrissy. If Drew tries to resist I will be like, come on, I just had to vote my best friend Caryn out. Danni would be the player I would most like out of the picture. But just in case Drew tries some kind of bullshit, I'm hoping Lydia will keep Adam informed of what is going to happen.

I am nervous that Lydia, Danni, and Chrissy voting for me and me being idoled out of the game. It's a very likely possibility. So now I need to win Immunity... desperately. This is quite possibly the most important challenge for me of the entire game.

I need to win to prevent an Idol from splashing back on me...

Two Idols are unaccounted for... That is fucking terrifying.

I just feel like I jinxed myself. I am going to get knocked out if I don't score immunity.

[Lucy]

Final 7!! Congrats on this huge accomplishment. It's also a huge turning point in the game as a late-game odd number.

During Council a lot was discussed in terms of visible threat level and final 3 goats. Do you believe that there are 2 goats that everyone is fighting to get to the end of the game with or is it more complicated than that?

i think that are multiple players who would be enticing to go to the end with... Unfortunately I don't believe I am one of them. I am trying to play up the fact that the girls won't vote for me out of ego and I didn't get to spend as much time with Ryan and Gary. I think Adam/Zeke see me as a possible threat, but not definitive in the way Danni/Drew are. Danni and Drew have WINNER written all over there faces and we promptly need to have it removed.

Have you shown enough of your game to warrant a win in the finals? If not, what is your plan over the next few days to change the jury's perception of you? If so, how do you plan on making it to the end and convincing others to keep you around long enough to be there?

I have... I have made two really big moves that were epic blindsides that shocked the jury. Joaquin being the first. I brilliantly got an idol out of play and he was shocked. Dale wasn't a blindside, but he was collateral damage. Dale was a big player that I had a hand in getting out... I just knocked out the alleged front runner Caryn, a player that everyone seemed to believe had me under her thumb. I think I have constantly shown that I am a versatile, smart, and ruthless player. I think if people respect cerebral game play I should have a strong case to win the entire thing.

We're at final 7, there's not a lot of wiggle room left, it's now or never. I believe in you!!

No there is not. We are all standing on very narrow planks and if you teeter totter too much in one direction- you are going to come crashing down to the ground. I'm just hoping that I can give these players a little push, while not falling off myself.

[Lucy]

I wake up today and sign on and all of my predictions and fears were realized.

Danni and Chrissy could not be any more predictable. Danni, Chrissy, and Lydia are all supposedly voting me off. Adding insult to injury Danni has found the Hidden Immunity Idol and told Drew.... who in turn told me. I am now defeated.

If Chrissy or Danni win Immunity this is going to be a wrap. One will be immune, the other can play the idol. I don't know if I can talk the boys into voting for Lydia because I think they all have these delusions that they can beat her...

I was in a sour mood all day. I pretty much have felt like I have hit a wall in the game. Was voting Caryn off a mistake?

I honestly want to believe it wasn't. I would have walked to fifth place and if I was lucky to make it that far I would have been viewed as a puppet.

I guess what I really am furious about is that I really never had a shot to win this game. I don't think there is anything that I could have done differently. I have faith in Adam and Zeke. I wouldn't put it past Drew to fuck me over. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if he voted me off at this tribal council.

I spoke with Lydia and she basically confirms that Danni wants her out and how stupid and short sighted most of these player are. Lydia is right. My god is Lydia right. Say what you will about Lydia but she is not stupid and she has played a very similar game to me. Lydia is an opportunist, which is exactly how I would describe my game. I have been an opportunist this entire game. I have befriended everyone, listened, and have taken advantage of any move that has come my way.

Lydia has also played that way, only, she's been a little less successful. The best thing to happen to Lydia's game is being labeled a goat during that stupid majority rules competition.

So right now... I have three votes potentially locked on to me. I'm not fully convinced Lydia wants to do it, but she doesn't see any alternatives...

So I tell Adam to try and get Lydia on board with booting Danni... The plan is we will vote Chrissy. It will be a huge blindside that will save me. I tell Adam that he is a key figure in this plan working because Lydia sees Adam as her ticket to victory. If Lydia is telling the truth, we will know when she votes Danni, if she's lying she will run and tell Danni and Danni will play the idol on herself.

It's a win/win.

I just need to make sure Drew is willing to stab Chrissy in the back yet again.

I also need to make sure Danni/Chrissy doesn't win Immunity or this is all for NOTHING.

[Lucy]

It sucks to hear from David that tonights challenge is a guessing/luck based game. It makes me feel like I have no say in my destiny and it's enraging. The challenge ends up being a game of guesstimation. We will be shown an image and need to try and count as many of the objects as possible within a 1 minute and 30 second time limit and submit that guess to Jeff Probst. If there are any ties it comes down to speed.

I start off the first round being right on the money. I am the closest to the mark. I am 10 off on the number of coconuts. Awesome. Zeke, continues to be an embarrassment in challenges, and finishes in last place for like the fourth fucking time. Zeke get it together buddy. I really hope you are throwing these... because you strike me as much better than what your showing.

Round 2... I barely stay alive. Lydia ends her immunity streak and I take a deep breath.

Round 3... Counting Palm Trees. I seriously counted 75. Which, was a mistake. I counted the same row twice and didn't realize it in the heat of the moment. I tried to add about 8-10 to whatever I counted just because it's likely I counted wrong.

I am 20 off... Eliminated.

Chrissy, being the smug cunt hole that she is, responds with QUEEN trying to shame me for being so far off. It was hilarious to watch her get eliminated in the next round and being almost exactly as far off as I had been the previous round. Karma, it's the best and most fast acting cosmic thing in the universe. Take a seat you whore.

It comes down to Danni-Adam-Drew. Adam is actually killing it for once... he has been a non entity in challenges and it's looking like he could take it. I am so nervous about Danni still being in the running... but it's for not. Danni finally gets eliminated.

It comes down to Adam and Drew, who cares who wins it's irrelevant. Drew ends up winning for the record, but really who cares.

It's time to try and blindside Chrissy.

Adam goes to work and tells Lydia to vote for Danni... This is a good move for me because A) It makes the girls think they are going to pull off some epic blindside in the event Lydia snitches and B) If Lydia does vote Danni, it makes her trust Adam much less. I love Adam, but if I am going to be sitting in the finals I need any advantage I can get.

Danni and Chrissy don't say a word to me. I want to talk to Danni, but I don't know what to say. HEY DANNI, SORRY I VOTED CARYN, DON'T BE MAD LAWLZ, I HEAR YOU WANT ME OUT, DON'T DO IT K?

How much more of an asshat could I be in that situation.

I am really freaking out. I am saying goodbyes to Drew, Adam, Lydia, and Zeke... I am trying to give them winning advice. I am actually getting emotional.

I started crying... and not because I thought I was going to lose. Losing is irrelevant. I was upset because I thought that this was it. I feel so close to so many of these people. I don't have ANY friends in my real life, none anywhere near me, and I'm a loner. I work from home. I live in my house. I leave once a week- if that- because I am broke. This game in a lot of ways is all I have. I know how pathetic that sounds, but it's like hearing that the end of summer camp is coming. I will never be as close to these people as I am now.

If I leave. It's over. I won't ever be in a situation like this with these people again. I will go back to being a loner and it's sad to have to put that into prospective in an online game, but it's true.

[Lucy]

Tribal Council....

I have been very quiet at almost every single tribal council. The less you have to say the better, but being that I was really emotional and finally in a situation where I know I could leave... I can't help but throw my thoughts into the arena.

Chrissy and Danni run around like two heathens who are being ugly poor sports and it's all for show. Chrissy and Danni want me to be blindsided, they want to hurt me, they want to put up this big ruse.

I'm not having any of it.

I want those two whores to know that I know what there doing. I want them to know they aren't blindsiding me. I want them to feel stupid. It doesn't hurt from Chrissy, I never cared for Chrissy, she's been an irrelevant shit stain on this game, but I care what Danni thinks.

As soon as Chrissy and Danni start harping on about how no one is speaking to them...

I start popping off at the mouth. I want them to understand that voting off Caryn was hard... not talking to them was because they were planning to write my name down tonight... and Danni really doesn't say much to me. Chrissy on the other hand starts to blossom, verbally, and just looks like an idiot.

I made a comment saying that voting out Caryn hurt me more than anyone. Chrissy tries to say I DISAGREE WITH THAT STATEMENT. Um, bitch did you vote her off? No. You didn't have to do anything but show up to tribal and be a worthless jiz rag like you always have been. Drew, Adam, and Zeke didn't give two shits about Caryn. Chrissy is just trying to make me look bad and like I betrayed Caryn without emotion and coldly.

I'm sorry, but Caryn's a big girl. Caryn has lied to people in this game. Caryn has blindsided people in this game. How hypocritical to act like she wouldn't do that to me when she's done it to a lot of people. Having said that, I loved Caryn. I could not believe I voted her out. I shocked myself.

Adam jumped to my defense, which he should have resisted, but it seriously proved to me that everything that Adam has done in this game has been with me in mind. Adam is the great guy I have thought he was. I made the right choice to stick with Adam, even at the possibility of my own derision. Adam smacked Chrissy down to earth and of course she had nothing to say back. Adam really has been the final two ally that I wanted this entire time and looked for in other people. Adam really proved himself to me.

I post this message basically saying how I know I could leave tonight and it's been real.... Joaquin quoted it and put a dancing in circles emoji. Joaquin may hate me, but I am going to use that hate to prove that I am a good person to take to the end. Joaquin wants me to lose so badly. Caryn probably hates me. Chrissy, if she leaves, hates me...

I am starting to think that my only shot at winning is if these people can look beyond hurt feelings and see I played the fuck out of this game strategically. I am the only person left who has been in on every vote. I have yet to be blindsided. I feel like the talk is ticking...

In fact it is.

Jeff just started the Hidden Immunity Idol counter.

Danni produces the Idol and I have to hope and pray it says she's playing it on herself and not Chrissy.

I let out a huge sigh of relief. It says she is playing it on herself....

But, before I start doing back flips, I have to see if Drew came through or not. The girls are under the belief that he is willing to vote me off.

The votes are read....

as soon as I saw one vote was count against Danni... I knew it had worked.

As predicted Chrissy was the pathetic poor sport I knew she was. 'I fucking don't like you'. The feeling is mutual bitch. I hope you like the jury... The group of people that never were going to vote for you to win. Have fun!

When I saw the fourth vote for Chrissy I seriously screamed so fucking loud FUCK YEAH. I not only screamed it once, but I might have shouted it while shadow boxing about fifteen to twenty times. I am elated.

I just spearheaded ANOTHER VOTE. I have another body bag to throw on my resume. I didn't leave, I am still here... I feel better.

I don't know how I am still here. I know people have liked me and I have made good strategic decisions, but I seriously felt like today was my funeral. I have renewed hope and faith that I can do this.